A Breathtaking Poem from A.G. Diedericks.
The sky offers me value, a sense of worth, a shroud to cover all the secrets that can never be told. The old thoughts, the familiar ones, appear like petals that soften the earth, give a fragrance that draws me into the glory of falling. The landing is all barbs and voices tinged with rage. The ground reminds me of the failings of my flesh, the rot of my mind. It exposes my dying eyes to spikes thrown like lightning from the sun and flays my hope of becoming. My breath is heavy and putrid in my mouth. I balance on breaking feet and knees that hold the weight of being nothing. I swallow my words like wine, desperate for euphoria and meaning. Desperate to be anyone but me.
I linger on the outside of everywhere. I am a skulker, a bone shucker, a fraud. I slip behind curtains, under floorboards, into panes of glass that mute my words. I am awkward and stumble more than I stand tall. I am late to the gathering, last to get the joke, the one in the corner feeling confused. I am hollow, looking for substance, failing. I am fleeting, a pale representation, a liar. I am a nail biter torn to the quick. I am clamor and catastrophe in the flick of a switch. You are my captor, my captivator, my annihilator. You are the steely grip of an unblinking gaze. You are my habit, my protector, you pull the strings. I will always surrender. You will always win.
A.G.’s writing is some of the most lush, layered, masterful and beautiful that I have ever read. He has a power over language that is enviable. There are some writers that just need to be read and he is one of them.
I spent 2 of my high school years in Carbondale, Colorado. It was beautiful. But, that is another post for another day. Anyway, on a flight from Denver to Los Angeles, when I was about 15, I had a conversation with a woman who I will never forget. She talked to me about birth order and the significance it has on personality and life choices. Like me, she was the youngest child, and although she was probably about 30 years older than me, I found we had a lot of similar characteristics, and that we saw our older siblings in similar ways.
I was the youngest of 3. Continue reading “Coming in Last”
I never wrote love poems, not about the good parts of love anyway, until I met my husband, Joe. Perhaps I had never really been in love before him, or perhaps I didn’t know what real love was supposed to feel like and look like. What I do know, is that my life and my heart have not been the same since I first met him, almost 10 years ago.
This month is his birthday month, my personal favorite month of the year because it is about celebrating him, so it is perfect that today my poem, “Unwavering” came out in Foxglove Journal.
My friend Sarah, who you may know from “On the way to the Barre”, is not only an extraordinary person and beautiful ballerina, but she is also an immensely talented writer. Her essay, “Spider Woman” appears in the current issue of Ducts Literary Magazine, and she will also be reading at their launch event, this Saturday, in New York.
If you are in or near New York on Saturday, don’t miss Sarah reading her incredible essay!