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Stories From the Edge of Blindness

In 2002, Retinitis Pigmentosa changed my life. This is my story of a slow approach to darkness.

Month

June 2018

There’s No Dawn Where We Live – A.G. Diedericks

A Breathtaking Poem from A.G. Diedericks.

MORALITY PARK

There’s no dawn where we live.
I watch as you step inside my soul,
scavenging for a candle holder,
accompanied by an indefatigable
passion to touch this purely decorative heart.

In my hands i caress your ethereal skin, freckled with my scars. On your lips, i turn your truths into lies
I’m all that you should despise
Oh, my beautiful marionette
When will you realize?
Tell me when it gets cold, and I’ll lend you my straight-jacket, whilst i put on another disguise.

There’s an equilibrium in madness.
In our tunnel; you had the vision
to descry the years of loyalty beyond the brutality. And time has stolen everything except our problems.

You see, I have always been the architect of my own abyss.
Until you came along and furnished it into your own wishing well, leaving me to rest & dwell, in this never-ending boundary spell.
Where my subconscious…

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Earth and Sky

The sky offers me value, a sense of worth, a shroud to cover all the secrets that can never be told. The old thoughts, the familiar ones, appear like petals that soften the earth, give a fragrance that draws me into the glory of falling.  The landing is all barbs and voices tinged with rage.  The ground reminds me of the failings of my flesh, the rot of my mind.  It exposes my dying eyes to spikes thrown like lightning from the sun and flays my hope of becoming.  My breath is heavy and putrid in my mouth.  I balance on breaking feet and knees that hold the weight of being nothing. I swallow my words like wine, desperate for euphoria and meaning.  Desperate to be anyone but me.

The Outside of Everywhere

I linger on the outside of everywhere. I am a skulker, a bone shucker, a fraud.  I slip behind curtains, under floorboards, into panes of glass that mute my words.  I am awkward and stumble more than I stand tall.  I am late to the gathering, last to get the joke, the one in the corner feeling confused.  I am hollow, looking for substance, failing.  I am fleeting, a pale representation, a liar.  I am a nail biter torn to the quick.  I am clamor and catastrophe in the flick of a switch.  You are my captor, my captivator, my annihilator.  You are the steely grip of an unblinking gaze.  You are my habit, my protector, you pull the strings.  I will always surrender.  You will always win.

Burning House

I am thrilled to have 3 of my poems in Burning House Press today!!!!! My huge thanks to June editor, James Pate! If you want, you can read them here.

 

Who Am I? – A.G. Diedericks

A.G.’s writing is some of the most lush, layered, masterful and beautiful that I have ever read. He has a power over language that is enviable. There are some writers that just need to be read and he is one of them.

MORALITY PARK

you-talkin-to-me.gif

Self-proclaimed, self-aggrandizing
self-published, selling yourself
for a shot at infamy – you still have it in for me

Who am I?
you ask sheathed in traced
stanzas
words languished by voracious artifice
remixed for myopic consumers
I watch you milk death and brand it catharsis; canvassing for the masses

I am an intervention
I cook doubt like a junkie and drip it slowly..

into your marrow

I rip you away from your warm bed
and leave you stripped naked
on the side of the road; chalked
out of line
As I drain your ink & slip back down into the gutter
like a rat
blowing an inaudible whistle

Who am I?
I’m the Punkture gaping your ego
an aberrant- carved
out of failure & disappointment
I bask in rejection
while you prance around with
counterfeit applause

Who am I?
I’m the fucking TRUTH

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Coming in Last

I spent 2 of my high school years in Carbondale, Colorado.  It was beautiful. But, that is another post for another day.  Anyway, on a flight from Denver to Los Angeles,  when I was about 15, I had a conversation with a woman who I will never forget.  She talked to me about birth order and the significance it has on personality and life choices.  Like me, she was the youngest child, and although she was probably about 30 years older than me, I found we had a lot of similar characteristics, and that we saw our older siblings in similar ways.

I was the youngest of 3. Continue reading “Coming in Last”

Unwavering

I never wrote love poems, not about the good parts of love anyway, until I met my husband, Joe.  Perhaps I had never really been in love before him, or perhaps I didn’t know what real love was supposed to feel like and look like.  What I do know, is that my life and my heart have not been the same since I first met him, almost 10 years ago.

This month is his birthday month, my personal favorite month of the year because it is about celebrating him, so it is perfect that today my poem, “Unwavering” came out in Foxglove Journal.

Badass Ballerina

My friend Sarah, who you may know from “On the way to the Barre”, is not only an extraordinary person and beautiful ballerina, but she is also an immensely talented writer.  Her essay, “Spider Woman” appears in the current issue of Ducts Literary Magazine, and she will also be reading at their launch event, this Saturday, in New York.

If you are in or near New York on Saturday, don’t miss Sarah reading her incredible essay!

Epic Summer Issue of Sheila – Na – Gig

I am thrilled to have 2 of my poems in the Epic Summer Issue of Sheila -Na – Gig.  My huge thanks go out to Editor Hayley Haugen!

This is a huge an amazing issue with so many wonderful poets and poems.  There are also a ton of submission opportunities at SNG that all poets should check out!!!!

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