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Stories From the Edge of Blindness

In 2002, Retinitis Pigmentosa changed my life. This is my story of a slow approach to darkness.

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Family

Dodging the Rain

I am super excited and honored to have 3 of my poems in Dodging the Rain today.    My huge thanks go out to poetry editor Neil Slevin!

I don’t usually write much about my poems after they are published; I tend to allow them to be whatever they are meant to become for anyone who reads them.  But, the three poems in Dodging the Rain are all very close to my heart, about loneliness, and essentially love.  The love for a sibling, for a partner, and for a friend.  They are about stillness and about the journey.  But still, I hope that if you choose to read them, they will also be whatever you need them to be.

If you would like to read the poems, you can do so here.

Memorizing the Words

My contribution to the July Visual Verse Challenge is up.

This month’s image was one that sent me reeling into a place of memory and nostalgia.  If you want, you can check out my poem, “Memorizing the Words”, and the entire first batch of amazing poems for the month.

 

Burning House

I am thrilled to have 3 of my poems in Burning House Press today!!!!! My huge thanks to June editor, James Pate! If you want, you can read them here.

 

Coming in Last

I spent 2 of my high school years in Carbondale, Colorado.  It was beautiful. But, that is another post for another day.  Anyway, on a flight from Denver to Los Angeles,  when I was about 15, I had a conversation with a woman who I will never forget.  She talked to me about birth order and the significance it has on personality and life choices.  Like me, she was the youngest child, and although she was probably about 30 years older than me, I found we had a lot of similar characteristics, and that we saw our older siblings in similar ways.

I was the youngest of 3. Continue reading “Coming in Last”

Unwavering

I never wrote love poems, not about the good parts of love anyway, until I met my husband, Joe.  Perhaps I had never really been in love before him, or perhaps I didn’t know what real love was supposed to feel like and look like.  What I do know, is that my life and my heart have not been the same since I first met him, almost 10 years ago.

This month is his birthday month, my personal favorite month of the year because it is about celebrating him, so it is perfect that today my poem, “Unwavering” came out in Foxglove Journal.

By Your Side

I have been in a bleak place lately.  It is a familiar place, a place of introspection where I can try to figure out what is bringing on the sadness.  I thought it was because of the shit storm of rejections I have been getting, but they were just the cap on feelings that were already dragging me under.  I have been feeling overwhelmed for so long.

After coming to the conclusion that it isn’t the rejections that are pulling me into the clutches of sorrow, I had to stop and breathe and look behind my eyes to see what has been troubling me.  This can, at times, be a herculean task, as I seem to be troubled far too often, and it is never just one thing. But, I have become good at peeling away the layers, seeing what lurks beneath.
Continue reading “By Your Side”

Danse Russe

Love, perspective, and the deepest emotions have been gifted to me so many times through poetry. Poems are endlessly teaching me about other people, about myself and the world. I write poetry to gain an understanding of the facets of humanity and to immerse myself in the magic of language.  I read it for the same reason.

Continue reading “Danse Russe”

The Flip Side

Ironically, given that this is National Poetry Month, this post is not about poetry (they can’t all be), and it may not be particularly poetic.  I just finished and submitted one of the most personal poems I have ever written, and although I am thrilled that it is the month of celebrating poetry, and I am reading it voraciously, I need to take a couple of days away from writing it.

I recently had what I now call ( thanks to Katrin),  a “sucks to be blind” day.  I need them every once in a while; I got through it, I always do, and I emerged from it on the flip side of what blindness and RP have brought into my life.

I have read a lot of blog posts, written by visually impaired writers, about the benefits of being blind.  I always scoffed at them.  What could possibly be beneficial about having a disease that is causing you to lose the one thing that pretty much everyone is terrified to lose?  I thought it was total bullshit.  I was wrong.
Continue reading “The Flip Side”

I Don’t Do Sick Well

I am sick.  Nothing serious, just a cold that won’t seem to go away, but I don’t do sick well.  No one likes being sick, I get that, but when I get a cold, I act like the world is crumbling.  I wasn’t always like this.  I used to get sick and ride it out and never talk about it.  Now, I am not only talking about it, but writing a blog post about it.  I must sound pretty crazy, or like a total princess.  Either way, it’s not cool.  I need to figure out where my tenacity and grit escaped to.  Thanks to my Dad, I think I have an idea.

I was visiting my Dad 4  days ago, the day the beast cold started attacking my throat, and I mentioned that I felt like I have become super sensitive to just a simple cold, making a huge deal about a sniffle or two.  He told me that he thinks I may feel like any physical ailment is just one more fucking thing on top of the big thing, the blind thing.  And, yes, he did say the F word; I come from a family who use expletives freely.
Continue reading “I Don’t Do Sick Well”

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