I never thought I would be so painfully unrecognizable. I never thought I would be so fat that I couldn’t tie my shoes. I never thought I would get old. I never thought my bones would ache. I never thought I would be unable to lift my arm for a year. I never thought I would be so obtrusive and yet so invisible. I never thought I would amount to much. I never thought I would lose my hair. I never thought I could disappear so easily. I never thought I would be blind.
floweringink
I am a writer, going blind in Los Angeles. This blog is my story of a slow approach to darkness as I traverse through the rubble of urban life. It is what I see in the withering spaces of my remaining vision. It is humor and despair and darkness and light. It is what I witness as the world slowly disappears.
25 thoughts on “I never thought…”
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August 12, 2020 at 11:27 am
I never thought I’d read someone like you… in thought you are my friend.
August 12, 2020 at 12:47 pm
Oh Eric, I am speechless right now. Thank you so much! The feeling is mutual!
August 12, 2020 at 11:48 pm
As Basilike said too…
August 13, 2020 at 2:06 pm
You guys are going to have me in puddles….
August 12, 2020 at 11:41 am
As Eric said, I never thought I’d read someone like you. And I never thought many other things about me, which I never said as fearlessly as you. You are admirable, Susan.
August 12, 2020 at 12:48 pm
Oh B, I am crying the good tears. You know how much I admire you, your talent and heart and spirit. Thank you so much!
August 12, 2020 at 2:49 pm
No need to thank me. You are a miracle.
August 13, 2020 at 2:02 pm
I so hope that we get to meet one day. Love to you, my friend!
August 13, 2020 at 2:59 pm
You’ll be closer now, and maybe when this disease is better controlled, we may. I hope so too.
Love to you too!
August 12, 2020 at 1:28 pm
I never thought I’d meet you. I know I will.
August 12, 2020 at 1:41 pm
I can’t wait!!!!
August 12, 2020 at 1:55 pm
Right?
August 12, 2020 at 2:14 pm
❤️❤️
August 12, 2020 at 4:03 pm
You accomplish more than many, Susan. Keep your head up and be proud of your accomplishments and who you are. Cheers!
August 13, 2020 at 2:03 pm
Thank you so much, Steven. I was feeling particularly demoralized the night I wrote that. It is crazy how even when amazing things are happening, the ghosts creep in.
August 15, 2020 at 5:51 am
Trust yourself, you’ll rise above those ghosts. 🙂
August 12, 2020 at 4:44 pm
I never thought I’d read such exquisite and visceral words as yours…
August 13, 2020 at 2:06 pm
Thank you so much! I was going on many nights of no sleep and feeling so demoralized when I wrote that. Sometimes I feel like I need to write and then share those stream of consciousness things. No polish, just the words and the feelings.
August 14, 2020 at 4:06 pm
You’re very brave!
August 13, 2020 at 11:13 am
Only good thoughts now Susan.
August 13, 2020 at 2:09 pm
Yes. Thank you so much, Mark!
August 16, 2020 at 7:42 am
I never thought I’d become friends with someone as wonderful and supportive and talented as you:-)
August 16, 2020 at 3:50 pm
Thank you so much, Lovely One! The feeling is totally mutual!!!
August 19, 2020 at 11:09 am
I never thought I’d be disabled, but it led me to a world of interesting And inspiring people, like yourself
August 19, 2020 at 1:02 pm
I feel the exact same Steve. There is so much and so many I wouldn’t know if it weren’t for RP.