I have been finding it very difficult to get inspired to write any poetry lately, until yesterday, when I read the beautiful poem, “The Poet~part 2”, from The Stories In Between. What I wrote is pale in comparison to his gorgeous poem, just the unedited bones of a first draft, but it was wonderful to feel the inspiration.
The Writer
Light flits off an empty screen,
taunting me,
throwing doubt into my eyes.
Why must I always break through the waves,
only to find my mouth full of ash?
My feet are less steady each time I stand,
heart hollow from the effort.
I try to shake the brittle ink from the pen,
but the emptiness is so loud,
painful to the touch.
My words become frail in the heat,
all sense of myself siphoned into the sun.
November 8, 2018 at 8:19 am
Inspiring, as always.
November 8, 2018 at 8:21 am
Thank you, Michael. It really is just bones, but his poem is so gorgeous, I couldn’t help feeling inspired to write.
November 8, 2018 at 8:19 am
Esp. delightful language: sense of myself siphoned into the sun. (:
November 8, 2018 at 8:21 am
Thank you, ee!
November 8, 2018 at 8:22 am
Loved it. ‘Siphoned Into The Sun’ would make a fantastic song title. I wish I’d thought of it! ~ George
November 8, 2018 at 8:27 am
Thank you, George!!!!
November 8, 2018 at 9:10 am
Oh, yes!
November 8, 2018 at 8:24 am
A solar flare in the making,
with the fusion of inspiration.
November 8, 2018 at 8:28 am
It was nice to feel inspired for the first time in a long time!!! You are, as ever, so very lovely, David!!!!
November 8, 2018 at 8:33 am
I await with anticipation
your every word, Susan.
November 8, 2018 at 8:50 am
He is, truly, one of the most talented and enduring WordPress poets. I like him dearly. Your poem does not pale in comparison, but rather, it is uniquely yours; that, in and of itself, must be legitimate enough. I also really enjoyed it.
November 8, 2018 at 10:19 am
Thank you so so much!!! And yes, he is amazing!!!
November 8, 2018 at 8:55 am
Nice!
November 8, 2018 at 10:19 am
Thank you, so much!!! You are lovely and always so kind to me!
November 8, 2018 at 10:20 am
You deserve it! ❤
November 8, 2018 at 9:09 am
You are such a wonderful inspiration. What words! Bones! Siphoned!
November 8, 2018 at 10:20 am
Thank you, BB!!! Love you!!!
November 8, 2018 at 9:14 am
…all sense of myself siphoned into the sun: I read your poem listening to Paul Kalkbrenner’s ‘Dockyard (B Seite)’ — for me it matched your words perfectly.
November 8, 2018 at 10:21 am
Thank you so much, my friend. You always take my breath away!
November 8, 2018 at 10:30 am
You are one of my favorites, Susan, for more than one reasons!
November 8, 2018 at 9:19 am
Wow. You know how much I love this one, Susan. Absolutely brilliant. You turn frustration and pain into such beauty – it always amazes me!
My poem would be something like this:
I have no words,
Writing is stupid,
The end
Somehow just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Ha!
November 8, 2018 at 10:22 am
And you, beautiful lady, bring beauty and humor into pain, which I certainly can’t do. You are the best, T!!!!
November 8, 2018 at 12:08 pm
Thank you, S!! ☺️
November 9, 2018 at 7:04 am
Lmao, Tanya! 🤣🤣🤣
November 8, 2018 at 9:50 am
sense as a son
i was not the one
they wanted
haunted and taunted
your words
make me smile
see
the world
and yourself
as the joy you are
to me
susan!
November 8, 2018 at 10:23 am
This just knocked me over, John. You have no idea how much this goes to my core. Thank you!!!
November 8, 2018 at 10:31 am
and then again please remember Dawn Dunn. so too going blind. you d like her she s a sweetie!
November 8, 2018 at 11:11 am
Wow! This is absolutely brilliant. seriously. SO good to see you writing again. There is a very deep message here.
November 9, 2018 at 7:33 am
Thank you so much! You are seriously lovely, Loraine!!
November 8, 2018 at 11:45 am
Loud emptiness. Loved it.
November 9, 2018 at 7:35 am
Thank you, B!!!
November 8, 2018 at 2:33 pm
This is wonderful. Few things are as devastating to people like us, as an empty pen. But as you have proven here, the empty pen is only waiting to be filled again. And again. And again. Damn pen.
And thank you for the mention. To inspire someone is to give value to one’s work. That means more to me than anything else. And don’t believe for a moment that your work ever pales to in any way, to anything. Each unique voice is as valuable as the next. You have certainly inspired me so I am humbled that I was able to return the favor. Maybe one day we can hike the Hollywood Hills together and I can tell you what I see and you can tell me what I’m missing.
November 9, 2018 at 7:41 am
This is so beautiful! You are poetry, my friend. Thank you!!! Thank you for this lovely comment and for inspiring me with your poetry and your stories! I think that would be a pretty amazing hike!!
November 9, 2018 at 12:37 pm
I have something I would like you to read, what’s a good email to contact you with?
November 9, 2018 at 4:08 pm
Wonderful! You can email me at storiesfromtheedgeofblindness@gmail.com
I look forward to it!
November 10, 2018 at 10:31 am
The last line in your comment to Susan is wonderful and so touching. Thank you for giving her that and for encouraging her. 😊
November 11, 2018 at 6:08 am
I am still feeling overwhelmed by it!!!
November 11, 2018 at 6:43 am
It was awesome!
November 8, 2018 at 3:10 pm
‘Siphoned Into The Sun’
Brilliant!!!
Get inspired again and again ‘pleaaaaaase’
November 9, 2018 at 7:41 am
Thank you, Kat!!!!!
November 8, 2018 at 3:13 pm
Creativity is a complicated thing. It can be as clean as a single beautiful sentence, or as complex as a cake of words stacked atop one another like a rich dessert. No matter the form, it’s all amazing, and talent is talent, and it is something you have, and, thankfully, something you’re willing to share. The architecture doesn’t matter, but the appetite for the language does. Keep on keeping on, is what I’m saying. That’s a good philosophy, I think. 🙂
November 9, 2018 at 7:43 am
A brilliant philosophy!!! Thank you, Steven! You have become a teacher and a mentor for me, and I am so grateful for your kindness and continued support, and for the inspiring writing that you are doing.
November 9, 2018 at 3:53 pm
Writers support writers, always. I’m still trying to figure how a good story is built. I really do think you have a wonderful writing voice and it will only get better. Don’t discourage yourself. It’s taken me years to figure that out. Never compare yourself to another writer, because what you do is unique… no one else can write like you do, and that’s a great thing. 🙂
November 9, 2018 at 4:12 pm
Thank you so much, Steven. You have definitely become one of my mentors and I am so grateful!
November 9, 2018 at 4:18 pm
Susan, f I can encourage, I’m happy to… no doubt I’ll learn from you as well. Because that’s how it works. Keep on keeping on. 🙂
November 8, 2018 at 5:44 pm
Bravo!!!!!
November 9, 2018 at 7:44 am
Thank you, my friend!!! Love!
November 9, 2018 at 7:51 am
My pleasure ❤️
November 9, 2018 at 7:06 am
You captured perfectly the frustration we all feel at times towards that empty page and empty mind. Well done, Susan!
November 9, 2018 at 7:47 am
Thank you, Sweet Tom!!!! I was happy to just get some words onto the page.
November 10, 2018 at 10:34 am
If you really think these lines where just bones, they are fucking awesome bones my friend. I love every line Susan. ☺💛
November 10, 2018 at 10:55 am
Thank you, Walt!!! You are always so wonderful!!!
November 10, 2018 at 10:56 am
You are very welcome Susan. Your poetry is outstanding!
November 11, 2018 at 6:09 am
I am feeling so blank lately, Walt. I really needed to hear this. Thank you, my friend!
November 11, 2018 at 6:42 am
I’m good at filling in blanks 🙂 You’re welcome!
November 13, 2018 at 9:19 am
Your poem is unique in beauty, honesty and gorgeous imagery, Susan. It so damn well (pardon my bad language!) describes the feeling of a writer who doubts, who feels with each and every one of our senses how to craft something that is meant to be valuable, beautiful, truthful, inspiring and thus appreciated by others. Who has not experienced such feelings and thoughts? These verses clearly express that, where I personally associate the water of the waves with creation and fertility and the “mouth full of ash” as the need to be watered and to get renewed inspiration:
“Why must I always break through the waves,
only to find my mouth full of ash?”
The use of “break through” intensifies the beauty of this image. The less steady feet and the hollow heart beautifully express the difficult path, yet still the road is taken with effort.
The following verses are lovely too with the choice of the word “loud” to describe the kind of emptiness felt that fits perfectly in the poem together with the fragility of the pen, which is nothing other than the writer’s soul and the inherent vulnerability we all have not just as poets and writers:
“I try to shake the brittle ink from the pen,
but the emptiness is so loud,
painful to the touch.”
Finally, the sun is the giver of hope. The voice of the poem “siphoned into the sun”. Love it!
November 13, 2018 at 9:25 am
Marta, you are amazing!!! You read this poem more completely than I ever could have. Thank you so so very much!!!!!
November 13, 2018 at 9:28 am
Always my pleasure, Susan. Please, keep writing such beautiful poetry. 🌈☀😘
November 15, 2018 at 8:09 am
Pure and utterly brilliant! I kept wanting to comment “this is my favorite line” only to be blown away by the next one as well, and the next, and so on. I am sorry to hear of the theme of this, but staggered by the sheer eloquence of how it was written. Once again I am left humbled and embarrassed by my own weak efforts to try to do what you seem to do so effortlessly. You truly are both a challenge and an inspiration. THANK YOU for blessing us with this! I can’t shake it from my mind… Just, WOW!
November 15, 2018 at 9:23 am
You are so incredibly kind!!! Thank you!!!! Never think that what you do is weak; your words are strong and powerful and always so transportively beautiful!!!!
November 16, 2018 at 12:28 pm
You are too sweet. Thanks.