I have often lived on the darker side of things, turned toward sadness and despair, wrapped myself in a cloak of sorrow. I know that this way of living and thinking is simply part of the way I am made, but as the year ends, I find myself reflecting on the light more than the darkness.
As I approach the last year of my 40’s, I am feeling the vigor in my stride. 2017 has been a year of awakening. I have begun a new phase in my RP journey, and although it has been challenging, I found the strength to face the changes in my identity as a blind person. With Zelda (my white cane), I took a new path and I am heading to a place of acceptance.
I have also, finally, stepped fully into my writing shoes. For years, I called myself a writer, but I wasn’t writing. This year, my writing took flight; it isn’t that I spent the year writing masterpiece after masterpiece, it is that I dedicated my creative and emotional self to a writing life. I write every day and in the act of writing I have truly become a writer. The words have always been there, but now they have been sparked and have come to life in ways that continually surprise me.
When I started “Stories from the Edge of Blindness”, many years ago, I kept myself isolated and wrote only the occasional post. I didn’t really participate in the blogging world, until this year. I am immensely grateful to have found an amazing and supportive community of writers from all over the world. I have discovered so many talented writers through the blogging community and learned so much from the stories those writers share. Being a part of such a diverse community is illuminating and inspiring; it is a true gift.
As I write this, I look around at my apartment, at all the signs of the wonderful life I have with my husband, at the pugs and the cats sleeping comfortably; I sink into the quiet spaces of the morning and I know that I am incredibly lucky. I am not thinking about what I don’t have or what I haven’t done, but about how full my life is. Rather than longing to put 2017 behind me, or shrug it off as yet another year of failures, I approach its end feeling grateful and energized. I am so thankful for all of the glorious, complicated, challenging and amazing things this year has given, and excited about what 2018 will bring.