I have often lived on the darker side of things, turned toward sadness and despair, wrapped myself in a cloak of sorrow. I know that this way of living and thinking is simply part of the way I am made, but as the year ends, I find myself reflecting on the light more than the darkness.
As I approach the last year of my 40’s, I am feeling the vigor in my stride. 2017 has been a year of awakening. I have begun a new phase in my RP journey, and although it has been challenging, I found the strength to face the changes in my identity as a blind person. With Zelda (my white cane), I took a new path and I am heading to a place of acceptance.
I have also, finally, stepped fully into my writing shoes. For years, I called myself a writer, but I wasn’t writing. This year, my writing took flight; it isn’t that I spent the year writing masterpiece after masterpiece, it is that I dedicated my creative and emotional self to a writing life. I write every day and in the act of writing I have truly become a writer. The words have always been there, but now they have been sparked and have come to life in ways that continually surprise me.
When I started “Stories from the Edge of Blindness”, many years ago, I kept myself isolated and wrote only the occasional post. I didn’t really participate in the blogging world, until this year. I am immensely grateful to have found an amazing and supportive community of writers from all over the world. I have discovered so many talented writers through the blogging community and learned so much from the stories those writers share. Being a part of such a diverse community is illuminating and inspiring; it is a true gift.
As I write this, I look around at my apartment, at all the signs of the wonderful life I have with my husband, at the pugs and the cats sleeping comfortably; I sink into the quiet spaces of the morning and I know that I am incredibly lucky. I am not thinking about what I don’t have or what I haven’t done, but about how full my life is. Rather than longing to put 2017 behind me, or shrug it off as yet another year of failures, I approach its end feeling grateful and energized. I am so thankful for all of the glorious, complicated, challenging and amazing things this year has given, and excited about what 2018 will bring.
December 30, 2017 at 8:38 am
I also was always drawn to the darker things as well. It feels so nice to go ally open up to the good and positive things. Age does funny things. Thanks for sharing ❤❤
December 30, 2017 at 8:40 am
It really does feel good! Happy New Year to you Mandi! I am so looking forward to more “Big Tiny Steps” in 2018!
December 30, 2017 at 9:15 am
Aww thank you ❤❤
December 30, 2017 at 8:42 am
I really do admire you & your strength. You truly inspire me! I am so glad you decided to participate in the blogging world. I can only imagine how challenging your life maybe, but know that I often think of you & I shared you with my family for the holidays. With love you inspire me to move on in life no matter what. The vigor in your strides motivates my entire being. I love you!
December 30, 2017 at 8:47 am
You are lovely and wonderful and you inspire me!!! I am sending lots of love you way! Happy New Year!
December 30, 2017 at 8:55 am
The love is honestly received! Take care. Happy New Year
December 30, 2017 at 9:51 am
This is wonderful!
I am new to the blogging community and to writing every day. Trying my best to become a composer of thoughts and words worthy of peoples time, and worthy of the public space they occupy. This post was refreshing to read. It is always helpful to know that there are people out there like you, and even more encouraging to see that they are capable of not letting that darkness shape too much of who they are, or what they are capable of doing. I too have gravitated towards the darker side of things and am starting to realize the benefits and beauty of the other side of the fence. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to what is produced in 2018.
December 30, 2017 at 11:46 am
Thank you Dylan! I am so glad that you started blogging; I know you have so much to share and I look forward to reading more of your work in 2018. Your love for words shows in the ways you write and in the ways you read. Happy New Year!
December 30, 2017 at 11:29 am
I think you’re an amazing person and I’m thankful to Tom for recommending you.
Zelda, my God. How imaginative is that. That makes you Scott, right?
One more thing before the N.Y has ticked away….Have you by any chance watched – Night on Earth by J. Jarmusch. If not, could you please try to find it? It’s amazing.
There are several stories, one of which is about a blind woman. It’s a good lesson. It’s about how lots of people will be seeing you and how you’ll be experiencing the world with a new pair of eyes.
December 30, 2017 at 11:52 am
I am thankful to Tom for intruding us as well; you are so lovely, kind and talented! As for Zelda, the minute I held her in my hand, I knew that would be her name; I don’t know why, it just felt right. I will definitely check out the Jarmusch movie; I know about it but haven’t seen it. Thank you for your openness and all of your kind words!
December 30, 2017 at 12:04 pm
In that case, hugs and keep in touch.
Here’s a blog I love that I think you might find interesting. A young girl (smart and well-read) who lost her leg, wrote about it recently, how adults look at her (with pity, feeling sorry for her, or with contempt, as if she were contagious) unlike kids, unspoiled and non-judgemental.
I hope you don’t find me TOO direct or negative. I think you’re gonna need lots of energy, patience and courage to cope with people. On the other hand, it’s comforting to know you’ve got the right kind of people around you.
December 30, 2017 at 3:53 pm
I actually really like the fact that you are direct; I find it refreshing and I think it can take away proverbial elephants in the room. I am incredibly lucky to have the support that I have in my life. I will check out the blog you recommended. Thank you!
December 31, 2017 at 12:48 am
I found the post I was referring to. Interestingly, I compared her to a blind person, recommending the same film. Check the comment section too.
December 31, 2017 at 6:05 am
I will totally check it out – will you please give me a link! Thank you!
December 31, 2017 at 6:39 am
I thought I did. I remember copying it. Whatever…
December 31, 2017 at 8:39 am
yes yes yes – I follow her blog – her writing is so beautiful! Thank you!
January 4, 2018 at 2:10 pm
I’m glad to have found both of you, and this thread! I’ll say it again, I’m a few days behind, but catching up fast. Happy New Year to both of you; I am grateful for you both!
January 5, 2018 at 12:04 am
We’re turning too sentimental. Does it come with age?
January 5, 2018 at 6:13 am
It comes with hope. 😉
January 5, 2018 at 8:50 am
I admit it, I am prone to sentimentality….and at my age, I have earned that shit!!!!! You guys rock!!!!
January 5, 2018 at 8:55 am
I’m not, I swear to God. It’s just I’m irrevocably in love with both of you.
January 5, 2018 at 9:19 am
How incredibly awesome to wake up today to so much love and wisdom! Life is good!
January 5, 2018 at 9:35 am
December 31, 2017 at 5:38 pm
Happy New Year, you beautiful spirit! Your writing has made my 2017 brighter.
January 1, 2018 at 10:14 am
Happy New Year Lovely Lady!!!! This is the first thing I have read in 2018; the year is starting out right. Thank you for your support and for making me laugh out loud every time I read one of your posts! You are amazing!
January 4, 2018 at 2:15 pm
Finding the community we have found, out here, is so rewarding. I live in an area where most people seem to lack true inner awareness (Dylan being a prime exception!) and instead spend their days lamenting the faults of the world around them for their lack of fulfillment. I prefer people who understand their own strengths and weaknesses, and use them to persevere and triumph over life. You, Susan, are exactly that type of person.
And now I know we’ll be growing alongside one another, virtually, into our 50’s. 😉
With allies like these, Susan, the world doesn’t stand a chance. Bring on the next round!
January 5, 2018 at 8:46 am
Tom, I absolutely adore you! It is wonderful for me to meet people who teach, challenge and inspire me, and that is exactly what you do. I feel incredibly grateful to be a part of your community!
January 5, 2018 at 12:07 pm
Thank you, Susan! The feeling is mutual!
February 12, 2018 at 1:47 pm
Susan, it is so kewl to see these people showing up in your blog as you find your strength and your voice. I feel I am nearing a waystation in your journey before we begin the next leg. I am so excited to be come close to it and to be a part of it.
February 12, 2018 at 4:32 pm
I am honored that you wanted to be a part of it and that you have allowed me to be a part of yours. As you see, I have been blogging for a long time, but only recently found the blogging community, and you guys are so incredible!