I never understood morning people; up with the sun, fresh start to the day. Maybe it’s because the sun has always felt like my enemy, or that I woke up hung over (a lot), or maybe I have always been a little bit off kilter, out of step and misshapen. I could never find a rhythm among the sun worshipping masses.
I was the quintessential night person; awake until 2 or 3, getting up anywhere from 11am to 2pm, depending on how much I drank the night before. I loved the feeling of decadence that came with being awake when risk was alight in the city, and anything could happen. I reveled in the quickening pulse of everything that comes after midnight. I felt alive and creative in the late night hours. But, time has a way of fucking with you, speeding by so fast that one morning you wake up, middle-aged, hung over and feeling like crap. The hours beyond midnight have lost their allure.
So now, at 48, I am an in between person; I get up at 4am, when the city is at its most quiet and the darkness protects me from the clamor and chaos of the sun. The world is so still, I feel illicit and delicious, a willing trespasser. 4am doesn’t feel like morning or night, but breathes beautifully somewhere in between; it is an introverts safe haven, a time for creativity to be uncloaked.I feel energized by the silence so early in the morning and empowered because I am awake for the arrival of the sun, rather than assaulted at noon by the strike of its barbs through cracks in the curtains.
I am writing more than ever now, in these hours when I feel like the world is all mine. I sit at my desk, in love with the fingers of darkness, getting lost in the words; I watch the day tumble softly in through the windows, grateful to be one of the in-between people.
November 5, 2017 at 8:35 am
I am such a night owl! I’m always saying that I need to change my sleeping habits so that they’re more acceptable to society, but it never happens. I am more productive at night and I feel better when I follow my body’s natural rhythm.
November 5, 2017 at 1:33 pm
Screw being acceptable to society – you be you!!!!
November 6, 2017 at 5:43 am
Susan, wow. This post is absolutely stunning, and if I weren’t an early bird already, I would want to become one because of the way you described it. You and I are so similar it is scary. For almost three years, I have been getting up at 4:30 am every day to write before I go to work. Today, I was up at 4am and was seated in a coffee shop by 4:44 am. My plan this morning is to work on my novel, but my priority was to get caught up on your blog first. When I read this one, I was like, holy shit…SHE IS ME! The peacefulness of the morning and the beauty of the rising sun is what I love oh so much. Mornings feed my soul and are so essential to my well-being. It is when I feel most connected to myself and my creativity. Each morning my dream awakens with me, and each word I write inches me closer to what I have longed for since I was a child. The morning is my sanctuary. What a comforting feeling it is to know that someone else is also rising with the sun chasing the same dream. From now on, whenever I am tempted to hit snooze, I am going to think of you and make a choice to get up. Hope you are enjoying your morning! It’s a beautiful view, isn’t it?
November 6, 2017 at 7:23 am
I love that you are also awake and creating before the sun comes up; why am I not surprised? I really am so grateful for this connection that we have; the world works is wonderful ways! When I am up early, writing and steeped in the silence and stillness of the in-between, I will be inspired in knowing that you are doing the same in your beautiful corner of the world.
November 7, 2017 at 5:15 am
Love this, Susan…so much!
February 10, 2018 at 11:26 am
True poetry in prose:
“I am writing more than ever now, in these hours when I feel like the world is all mine. I sit at my desk, in love with the fingers of darkness, getting lost in the words; I watch the day tumble softly in through the windows, grateful to be one of the in-between people.”
February 10, 2018 at 2:45 pm
I can’t escape it and I am so grateful I can’t!!!! Thank you for seeing this!
February 10, 2018 at 2:54 pm
Getting closer to being current with you. I am glad to see the journey progress the way it has.
February 10, 2018 at 3:02 pm
I am in awe of you!!!! It is taking me longer, but I hope you know that I am reading with care and patience! My hope was that I had grown, as a person and as a writer, and seeing this all through your eyes, I feel as if I have.
February 10, 2018 at 3:07 pm
Make no doubt. You HAVE grown. I have seen it. I do know. I didn’t do this to have someone comb through mine this way. It is an honor, but not as much an honor as it has been to go through this journey of yours.
February 10, 2018 at 3:10 pm
I am beyond emotional right now, beyond words to describe my gratitude, but I will find them. You are just so incredible!!!! I don’t believe in god, but for lack of a better word, I feel blessed.
February 10, 2018 at 3:12 pm
I believe we have but one purpose in life…it is lifting. While I will never tell someone no, you do not need to say any more than you have. Just continue to learn to laugh at The Punisher.