So, I am walking home from the grocery store a few days ago, sans Zelda, and feeling my usual combination of freedom, guilt and anxiety.  I was moving pretty gracefully(I think) over all the Hollywood debris and I came to a small intersection where the light was red, which seriously interrupted my groove.  I am doing my usual scanning of my surroundings thing that RP has helped me become good at, and I see a guy talking to the gate just around the corner.

He is clearly enamored with this gate, and it is pretty nice as gates go – slick black iron with wide, solid and shiny bars- but his feelings are clearly going way beyond admiration. His expression is coy and flirtatious and he is speaking in a whisper;  he and the gate are clearly sharing something intimate.  I try to ignore him, but it is hard not to notice a love like that. His eyes are ablaze with passion, but I can’t see his hands. The light is taking forever to turn green.

Just as I am looking away, he looks up and sees me.  I guess his love for the gate is fleeting because now he is giving me the flirty eyes; at least it isn’t rage this time.  He grins at me and starts to move away from the gate.  He comes around the corner and I realize why I couldn’t see his hands; they are in his pants.  His hands are moving around inside his filthy, tattered, barely covering his ass pants; you get the picture.

He sashays toward me, eyes wild and teeth alight, and then he notices the gate again and walks right past me.  But, I can feel him behind me, looking from me to the gate and back again.  I am sure he thinks I can see him, but I only hear and sense that he is still there. The light turns green and I am out of there, leaving him and the gate in their rapture.

As I walk the two last blocks to my apartment, something new occurs to me regarding Zelda and my safety.  I feel guilty every time I leave the house without Z, and burdened whenever I have her with me, but I have always thought it is safer when I have her; now I am not so sure.  Perhaps, it depends on the neighborhood.  I have had some pretty freaky experiences in my neighborhood and more truly insane people seem to be taking up residence in the past few months; it seems to me that it might be safer if they think I can see them coming rather than knowing I can’t.

Clearly I am still working out the whole Zelda thing and I know my feelings about her will change as my vision changes, but I have to consider my surroundings and what feels safest to me.  For now, I prefer that the residents of the tent towns that are popping up all over the Hollywood sidewalks, don’t know that I am blind.