My sister is about to return from an epic adventure in India with  her family.  She shared beautiful pictures on facebook and posted about the various places they traveled.  I feel so happy for her; this is something she has always wanted to do and her joy is infectious.  I also feel sad.  I think about all the amazing things the world has to offer and how I may never see them while I have enough vision to take them in.

My husband is from Ireland and he speaks of its beauty  often; I see the joy in his eyes when he shares stories of his life before America swallowed him up.  I have wanted to travel to Ireland for as long as I can remember and now, the thought of being able to see it with  the  person I love most in the world makes me want to go all the more.  A broken leg and dogs and money and time have all gotten in the way of our going to see his home and I worry that when we are finally able to go, I won’t be able to see the green and the lush and the beauty of the country of my dreams.

I try to live in the moments that are closest to me, but it is difficult to do when you have an unpredictable disease.  I don’t wallow in thoughts of what I may loose as my vision dies, but I do have days where I feel temporarily consumed by grief and fear. If I was a good person, I would probably be more positive and always look on the proverbial bright side, but the bright side literally hurts my eyes.

Advertisements