RP has thrown me into a life of leisure.  It sounds decadent,  but has felt confusing and burdensome.  It has been a struggle for me to brush off the restraints of socialization and embrace the time that RP has afforded me.  I had such grand ideas when I first stopped working in the traditional world; I was going to immerse myself in writing and finish my memoir, but instead I retreated and built a cocoon of shame and self loathing.  I spent years trying to figure out how to be a blind person and forgot how to be anything else.

Although my days of not working can be exhausting because of the need for constant visual vigilance every time I leave the house, I get to choose when and where I go.  I have the freedom to decide what my days look like and what path my life will follow, unencumbered by the 9 to 5.  in the past year, my focus and my attitude have shifted.  I have become a little less afraid and started to think about my life and myself in a more complete way.  I am not just the fat girl who is going blind.  I am a writer and a wife and a friend and a mom to 4 pets.  I am learning again to be person beyond the boundaries of my disease and feeling incredibly grateful for my life of leisure.