In a few hours I will have my head in a big white dome, pushing a button when I see red lights flash.  I am feeling particularly anxious about my visit to the specialist this year, which I suppose is clear as I have written about it for the past few days.  I feel a combination of fear and dread and it is on days like today that I miss my Mom even more than usual.

My Mom died 24 years ago, long before my RP diagnosis.  But, I know if she were here she would be comforting me.  I miss the feel of her arms around me and the soothing tones of her voice.  I miss her unconditional love and support and the way she could always make me laugh even when I felt afraid.  I remember her singing me funny songs as we drove to the dentist, because she knew how terrified I was; I wish she was here to sing me a song today.