When you are losing your vision but you don’t know how quickly or to what degree or even how much will eventually be lost, you are sort of forced to adopt the attitude of crossing bridges when you come to them.  I realized recently that what has felt like one of the most frustrating aspects of having RP, the uncertainty, could actually be liberating.  I have spent the years since my diagnosis in endless hours of contemplation over ‘ what if’s”.  What if I am blind by the age of 50?  What if I lose all my vision?  What if I stay this sighted for the next 20 years?  What if there is never a cure?  What if there is?

I have known about my RP for almost nine years and my vision has been relatively stable for the past five.  I know that I can’t count on that, but I have also learned that living in dread of the unknown keeps me frozen and fearful.  I need to truly embrace the idea of living in the moment and start feeling my life in its current rhythm and not allow it to function as an afterthought to what the RP may bring.  In this moment I see and I am grateful. I will cross tomorrows bridges when they come.